CFS Progress Review: June 2012

Once again, my diary entries get more sparse as I get better and better. Here's a summary of what's happened in June.

• While I was away on holiday I talked at length with my mum about what sorts of things are important to me now I am recovering. She was concerned that the fact I was toying with the idea of moving to Scotland would have a detrimental effect on my recovery. I had been thinking about this for some time previous to our discussion, and as well as it not being a practical idea, I wanted to save the magic of the area as a holiday destination instead of making it mundane and ordinary by turning into my permanent residence. I would still love to live by the sea though. One day...
• When I first went down with major CFS symptoms, my life literally stopped. Over the six month period of my recovery, I have been able to re-evaluate my personal priorities, and only re-introduce the things that I want in my life. I have chosen quality over quantity in many aspects, and I am finding I get a lot more out of life now. There seems to be a purpose and a meaning to many of the things I am doing that I just couldn't grasp before I was really ill.
• I have been exercising a lot more. Well, I say exercise, what I actually mean is walking, yoga and meditation. I have decided I will not return to the gym, that nature and fresh air provide all the fitness equipment I need-although I have taken ownership of an exercise bike for particularly bad weather days! I now try to walk almost every day, while keeping in a rhythm with my pacing so that I don't end up in a cycle of "boom and bust". I am also feeling the fantastic adrenaline/endorphine rush that comes with exercising out in the fresh air. I have missed that.
• My feathered friend, Jimmy the budgie passed away. Say what you like about animals, but he was with me through a very rough time with this illness, and his chirruping and funny talking made me smile even on my blackest of days. Check out my friend Julia's new blog God Is Dog Spelt Backwards to read of animals and their owner's healing stories.
• I have saved the biggest news for last. My GP has declared me now "fit for work" hooray! I will be going back on a phased return.

As mentioned earlier, I have been re-evaluating my whole life, especially more towards the latter end of my recovery. I have come up with three goals to guide me through the next six months:

1. Maintain a good state of health by applying all knowledge learned within the past twelve months.
2. Steadily increase working hours up to sixteen per week, using phased return.
3. Enjoy creative pursuits and other hobbies to enhance physical and mental wellbeing.

Only three goals, but once again focusing on quality not quantity. And those goals in themselves are quite big, if you think about all that could possibly be involved! These three items will be the focus of my blog for the rest of the year.

I shall finish with a quote from Friedrich Nietzsche, the german philosopher. Not the most concise of quotes, but it certainly resonates with me:

"But what if pleasure and pain should be so closely connected that he who wants the greatest possible amount of the one must also have the greatest possible amount of the other, that he who wants to experience the "heavenly high jubilation" must also be ready to be "sorrowful unto death"? And it is so, perhaps!"

Or, if you'd rather, in the words of Stereophonics, "You gotta go there, to come back..."

Enjoy the second half of the year folks! x

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4tcRlHY-3Q 

This blog post is written

in memory of Jimmy Stickybeak the 2nd

2007-2012